Lovely Rita Hurricane
I've read that people are already coming up with many reasons why God seems to hate the Gulf coast. One was that it is a den of homosexual and deviant behavior. Another is that it's full of Red states. However, I don't think God hates the Gulf coast and is behind the nasty weather.
I think Satan's actually behind it all. Yes, Satan.
You see, the South is a Red/Republican bastion. The core of these Republicans are Conservative Christians. They're trying to make the U S of A a God fearing country again. Return us to those values our parents believed in when we had prayer in schools and Jews and Blacks knew their place. We didn't have all these problems back then.
Satan is having none of that. The Dark Lord is trying to create of world of chaos and Godlessnes, where abortion runs rampant, people are sleeping with whatever or whoever the heck the want to, our kids are turning to witchcraft, and Muslims are running the country. Satan simply cannot have these righteous people influencing political policy in any meaningful way. But how to stop them? Their furvor for converting their fellow men is contagious. They've taking over the government. They can't be stopped. What to do?
Of course! Kill them and destroy their cities! If they manage to escape with their lives, then they'll be so traumatized they won't even want to vote. Or better yet, will blame the Republican administration and Congress for allowing it to happen. Next thing you know, they'll start voting for Democrats, who we all know secretly worship Beelzebub. If Democrats are seen in a church, it is merely a ruse to lull the masses into believing they are actually Christians. Ravage enough of the South, and the Devil worshiping Liberals will again rule the land and our fall from grace will be complete. By the next generation, we will literally have Hell on Earth.
So don't be fooled, faithful readers. Take heed and remember my warning. Evil runs amuck through the land (and not just Evil Science). If you count yourselves amoung those that believe in fairness and equality of men, regardless of race, in individual rights and the separation of Church and state, repend and mend your ways, lest the coming storm sweep you away!
I think Satan's actually behind it all. Yes, Satan.
You see, the South is a Red/Republican bastion. The core of these Republicans are Conservative Christians. They're trying to make the U S of A a God fearing country again. Return us to those values our parents believed in when we had prayer in schools and Jews and Blacks knew their place. We didn't have all these problems back then.
Satan is having none of that. The Dark Lord is trying to create of world of chaos and Godlessnes, where abortion runs rampant, people are sleeping with whatever or whoever the heck the want to, our kids are turning to witchcraft, and Muslims are running the country. Satan simply cannot have these righteous people influencing political policy in any meaningful way. But how to stop them? Their furvor for converting their fellow men is contagious. They've taking over the government. They can't be stopped. What to do?
Of course! Kill them and destroy their cities! If they manage to escape with their lives, then they'll be so traumatized they won't even want to vote. Or better yet, will blame the Republican administration and Congress for allowing it to happen. Next thing you know, they'll start voting for Democrats, who we all know secretly worship Beelzebub. If Democrats are seen in a church, it is merely a ruse to lull the masses into believing they are actually Christians. Ravage enough of the South, and the Devil worshiping Liberals will again rule the land and our fall from grace will be complete. By the next generation, we will literally have Hell on Earth.
So don't be fooled, faithful readers. Take heed and remember my warning. Evil runs amuck through the land (and not just Evil Science). If you count yourselves amoung those that believe in fairness and equality of men, regardless of race, in individual rights and the separation of Church and state, repend and mend your ways, lest the coming storm sweep you away!
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