Women in my Life Part 1

For some reason, I've been reflecting on my past life (who can guess the obscure reference?) and I've been thinking of the women in my life (other than my mom of course). I've really only dated 3 women for any lenth of time. There were a couple of girls I went out with for a few days or less so they really don't count, but other than the Wife, I really only dated 2 other girls. So I shall proceed with a multi part installment series on them. It will probably be more than 3 parts since there's no way I could talk about the Wife in one post.

I shall preface this all by saying I'm not waxing nostalgic about former girlfriends and how much better they were than the Wife, as they really weren't. I wouldn't trade the Wife for either of them in MILLION years, as they were quite damaged goods at the time, as you'll see. Just don't want anyone to think that all of a sudden I'm looking for past love or some such silly mid-life-crisisy bull. If I really wanted to have a mid life crisis, I'd buy a Brian May guitar and a 67 Corvette. And get a bad toupe.

My first girlfriend, was CM. While I doubt she'll ever find this blog, I will endevour to protect the innocent. I met her through a friend. The two of them went to the same all girl Catholic high school. I was really hot for my friend, but she wouldn't date me, even though I had all the qualities of a man which she told me she wanted. Of which I repeatedly reminded her. But I digress. I was about 14 or 15 at the time and had yet to have a girlfriend. I find it interesting that I had to go backwards from when I started dating the Wife to figure out how old I must have been when I started dating CM. I would have thought I'd remember a detail like that.

We started by talking on the phone, and after about a week of 2 hour calls per night, we decided to start dating. It was an interesting relationship, since she lived on the other side of town from me. I had to get a ride to her house to see her, usually my dad would drive me out there. It was fairly passionate early on, at least, a lot of kissing took place.

Our relationship was quite interesting. We spent most of our time either at her place, or at her mom's boyfriend's place. Normally we had the house to ourselves. Her mom and her boyfriend would go out, and we'd have the run of the place. Much kissing and touching ensued, but no intercourse. Sorry to dissapoint you all so early. We never really went places together, such as the mall, or to dances, or those things that teenage couples do. She lived near a park so sometimes we'd walk there. Mostly it was just hanging out alone together.

I fell head over heels for that girl in no time. Looking back, it may have been that she was my first girlfriend. It may have been two kids doing a lot of heavy petting. I'm sure now I would call it more lust or enfatuation than love. But at the time, I thought that's what love was. I thought we would be together forever. I was such a kid at the time.

I don't even remember how long the relationship lasted. Just doing the math and wracking my brain, I think it must have been six to eight months. I'm pretty sure we exchanged Christmas presents, because she gave me an ID braclet with my name engraved on it and Love C on the back (which I think I still have but I haven't opened it in years). I remember she got me Ozzy's Diary of a Madman for my birthday, so that was 4 to 5 months right there. As a little side story, I never got to take the album home. If I remember correctly, her birthday was near mine, so she had a party at her place. She gave me the album before the party started. At the time, I hooked up my friend that set me up with CM with a guy I knew from school. I got a ride home from her dad and my pal was in the back with her. I passed back the album to let them check it out. When I got home, no album in the sleeve. The bastard stole it on me so I never got to enjoy it.

Anyway, sometime after that, things began to fall apart for us. Before I go into the reason, a small bit of background on CM. Remember how I said her mom had a boyfriend? Well, she was still married at the time. And her husband (CM's dad) still lived in the house, though I think I met him only once. He was never home when CM's mom was. It seems her mom got pregnant with her so they got married. See where this is going?

One night, CM and I are together and she's upset. I ask her what's wrong. She admits cheating on me with an older guy she knows. I'm pretty stunned, but since I'm IN LOOOOOVE, I tell her I forgive her. We try to go on and I try not to get jealous over it. I don't think I made to big a deal about it, but I poked at her occasionally about it. Bad move. About a month later, she broke it off with me. I was crushed, baby, just crushed.

And why did she finally break up with me? Because I was TOO GOOD FOR HER! Yes, that's right, I treated her too well. She had expected me to get all pissed off at her and dump her ass after I found out she'd cheated. She probably did it purposely to sabotage our relationship. She hadn't counted on me still wanting her. However, all my pleading did no good and we stopped seeing each other.

I kept tabs on CM through my friend. After we broke up, she began dating the guy she cheat with. Turns out, he was a fuck. He would beat her and treat her like shit. She got pregnant by him at 16 or 17. She'd made a couple of weak attempts at suicide during that time (before the pregnancy). He even hit her in the stomach when she was pregnant. She finally dumped his sorry ass after the baby was born. He beat her up in front of the kid and that's when she realized she didn't want her kid to grow up with a man like that.

The last time I saw CM I was in college. Probably somewhere around 1985. I spoke to her once more after that. I have not seen nor heard from her since. Our relationship inspired the lyrics to the song Remember When, which I wrote in 1994-95. I'll give lyrics below. I did find out her married name from Classmates, but never tried to find contact information. There's been so much time, I'm not sure she remembers me, or what those memories are. I've got some fond ones, at least of first love, and I'm comfortable leaving it at that. I'm sure her kid is grown and out of high school by now. Damn we get old fast.

Remember When, by Vince Franco

Young and in love, starry eyed
Said you’d love me until we died
Never thought you’d make me cry
And I can’t believe we’ve said good-bye

I said I love you, this can’t be true
You were my whole life, don’t say we’re through
You’ve found another to be with you
I wish you’d tell me what did I do.....to make you leave me

I remember when we thought it would never end
Sometimes every now and then I remember when

You wouldn’t see me, or take my calls
I was behind you, never there at all
I tried to reach you, get inside your walls
But you just ignored me from your horse so tall


It’s been a long time, the pain is gone
I’ve found another to call my own
She is my whole life and I am hers
I can’t believe how good my luck has turned

Sometimes I wonder, where did you go
I was so busy, caught in the flow
You must have your life and I have mine
Do you think of me from time to time

I remember when we thought we would still be friends
If we could meet again we’d remember when

I remember when (2 times)


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