Becoming The Fiance
There's a lot I want to say about something that aggrevated the shit out of me today, but if I write or talk about it, I'm just going to get all pissed off all over again, so I will wait until I can let it go.
So.......
We left of the story at the end of high school. The Girlfriend became the Ex-Girlfriend. We were "taking the summer off from each other" as I recall. There was not mention of actually getting back together and we saw little of each other that summer. However, some things are not so easy to give up. College started in the fall. I had joined the NROTC unit at college in order to attempt to win a scholarship. I had applied but was initially turned down. However, in August I got a call from the local unit saying that if I joined the unit and got good grades, there was a possibility of getting a 3 year scholarship. My parents were willing to pay for a year of college with the carrot of the US Navy paying the rest. So I cut my hair and put on a uniform.
Early in the year, we had a social event to celebrate the birthday of the Marine Corps. Many of you may or may not know that the US Marine Corp is a part of the Department of the Navy. As such, the Navy and Marine Corp fall under the same umbrella. For ROTC midshipmen, it means wearing the globe and anchor insignia instead of just the anchor insignia. And much shorter hair. In any event, I needed a date for the event, as coming unescorted was not an option. Nor was blowing it off, actually. In the Navy, it was what we called "mandetory fun". Always mandetory, not always fun.
So, I called Miss E and asked her to go, as I didn't have a girlfriend at the time. The party was indeed mandetory, and only minimally fun. We left early and walked around campus, just hanging out and talking. We got around to our relationship and what the hell we were doing. We hemmed and hawed about whether to get back together or call it quits for good. I recall the conversation not going much of anywhere. So I did what I'm known to do: say the first thing that pops into my head. Which was:
"Marry me or we done."
Or essentially that, if not the exact words. Mind you, we were both all of 18 at the time. She said, "ok, I guess so" or words to that effect and we agreed we'd be "engaged to be engaged" as I didn't have a proper ring or the money to procure one. Thus began the real road to where we are today.
College was a blur of memories. I recall going to her parents place every weekend and actually trying to work on homework on Sunday nights. I recall a lot of kissing and hugging and not a lot of homework. The first time we ever made love was June 2, 1986. I know this date because she wrote it on a card with all of our "important" dates on it, which we still have. It has the date we started dating, and the date I gave her the actual engagement ring (that story shortly). We hung out a lot with my best buddy Scott. That got me into trouble occasionally, since I had a tendancy to promise to meet her at a certain time and then be WAAAAY late because Scott and I were hanging and I'd push it to the limit. One time she even drove over to Scott's house where I was, got out of the car and slammed the door, glared at me menacingly, then got back in the car and tore off. I hopped in my car and chased her halfway around the county before she stopped.
Scott also had this tendancy to call us while we were "otherwise occupied". It never failed. We'd be alone at her place. We'd be getting to something "good", and the phone would ring. It was Scott. And he'd always ask, "Are you in the middle of anything?" And the answer would always be "Yes." Uncanny ability he had.
There where Navy Balls every year in April. The guys would get in our choker white uniforms and the ladies would get a really nice dress. We'd have a formal dinner and then dancing.
She always looked hot. She went to a community college for two years then transferred to the 4 year school I attended junior year. It was nice then. We'd have lunch together when our schedules coincided. Our good friend P also transferred in so occasionally it would be a threesome (for lunch that is, you sick little puppies).
It was during this time that it really struck me. Up until about the end of freshman year of college, we were a couple, and I loved her, but the eye still wandered. I might look at another woman and wonder whether she'd make a good girlfriend or something. By sometime sophmore year, I stopped being interested in other women. I'd still find them attractive and enjoy thier company or looking at them, but I wasn't interested in them in any other way. Basically meaning I had no desire whatsoever to have sex with them. That was HUGE for me. I realized that I truly LOVED Miss E and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. It's a feeling that I've never lost in all the years since. Some people say that you meet someone and you just KNOW they're the ONE. Well, it took me a few years, but it struck me. I've got this sense in me that tells me in my gut through the entire fiber of my being that something is RIGHT. When we were picking a pre-school program for Grasshopper to deal with his autism, I just KNEW that the school we sent him to was where he needed to go. And it was. Same thing here.
So, it's 1986. June 2 was a momentous day for us (at least, I'd like to think so). I'm working full time in the summer and one quarter during the school year as part of the co-op program that goes with my major. Meaning, I've got cash for a ring. Miss E know's I'm going to get her a ring at some point. We've even been shopping. I've been directed to buy her a marquis cut or don't even bother. When I suggested a pear shape as an alternative, I get "what part of marquis or else don't you get?" So what do I do? I find a really nice pear shaped diamond that I can afford. Nice quality. I put a down payment on it. I tell my mom I picked out a ring. I tell her it's a pear. She says, "Didn't she say she wanted a marquis?" So she makes me go back with her to look at the ring. Then she smacks me upside the head and makes me switch it for a marquis cut instead.
I've got the ring now, but I need a plan to give it to her. So I recall the story my theology teacher from high school, Stormin' Norman, related. He had been in a similar situation. He put together an elaborate plan tied to a family picnic to give her the ring. The concept was good: use an occasion where she would never expect to get a ring. His execution was poor, but that's another story. My plan: I call Miss E and say, "what do you say we go out for New Year's Eve this year?" I ask her in July. She says, "Sure, I guess." Plan now in action! In the fall, I made reservations for New Years Eve and a swanky resteraunt in town. One evening, well before that night, I even spill the beans to her with her parents there. I say to her in that voice that says "I'm messing with you": "Guess what I got you!" "Whaaaaat?" she replies. "I got you a half carat marquis diamond ring!" "Sure you did," she replies and goes upstairs to get ready. When she's out of earshot, I tell her parents, "Actually, I did! I'm giving it to her New Year's Eve."
So everyone knew about it except for her! New Year's Eve comes along, and we go out and have a nice dinner. I've got the ring in my pocked wrapped in Donald Duck Christmas wrapping paper. Since her birthday is January 9, after dinner I pull it out and tell her I have an late Christmas/early birthday present for her. She opens the wrapper and stares at the box. She cracks the box open and starts to cry. That's when I officially propose to her. Many tears and hugs ensued. The waitress was quite attentive as she realized what was going on and asked to see the rock. After dinner, we went to see her parents at a friend's house and the first words out of her mother's mouth when we came in were "Let me see the ring!" The Fiance couldn't beleive I'd managed to tell everyone and keep her in the dark for nearly 6 months. You may cheer now. I rule. I know.
So this was New Year's Eve 1986. We weren't graduating from college until 1989, so we had some time to plan the wedding. I will end this chapter of the story here and pick it in the next installment, covering from the ring to the wedding, and all the insanity the three weeks surrounding it was.
So.......
We left of the story at the end of high school. The Girlfriend became the Ex-Girlfriend. We were "taking the summer off from each other" as I recall. There was not mention of actually getting back together and we saw little of each other that summer. However, some things are not so easy to give up. College started in the fall. I had joined the NROTC unit at college in order to attempt to win a scholarship. I had applied but was initially turned down. However, in August I got a call from the local unit saying that if I joined the unit and got good grades, there was a possibility of getting a 3 year scholarship. My parents were willing to pay for a year of college with the carrot of the US Navy paying the rest. So I cut my hair and put on a uniform.
Early in the year, we had a social event to celebrate the birthday of the Marine Corps. Many of you may or may not know that the US Marine Corp is a part of the Department of the Navy. As such, the Navy and Marine Corp fall under the same umbrella. For ROTC midshipmen, it means wearing the globe and anchor insignia instead of just the anchor insignia. And much shorter hair. In any event, I needed a date for the event, as coming unescorted was not an option. Nor was blowing it off, actually. In the Navy, it was what we called "mandetory fun". Always mandetory, not always fun.
So, I called Miss E and asked her to go, as I didn't have a girlfriend at the time. The party was indeed mandetory, and only minimally fun. We left early and walked around campus, just hanging out and talking. We got around to our relationship and what the hell we were doing. We hemmed and hawed about whether to get back together or call it quits for good. I recall the conversation not going much of anywhere. So I did what I'm known to do: say the first thing that pops into my head. Which was:
"Marry me or we done."
Or essentially that, if not the exact words. Mind you, we were both all of 18 at the time. She said, "ok, I guess so" or words to that effect and we agreed we'd be "engaged to be engaged" as I didn't have a proper ring or the money to procure one. Thus began the real road to where we are today.
College was a blur of memories. I recall going to her parents place every weekend and actually trying to work on homework on Sunday nights. I recall a lot of kissing and hugging and not a lot of homework. The first time we ever made love was June 2, 1986. I know this date because she wrote it on a card with all of our "important" dates on it, which we still have. It has the date we started dating, and the date I gave her the actual engagement ring (that story shortly). We hung out a lot with my best buddy Scott. That got me into trouble occasionally, since I had a tendancy to promise to meet her at a certain time and then be WAAAAY late because Scott and I were hanging and I'd push it to the limit. One time she even drove over to Scott's house where I was, got out of the car and slammed the door, glared at me menacingly, then got back in the car and tore off. I hopped in my car and chased her halfway around the county before she stopped.
Scott also had this tendancy to call us while we were "otherwise occupied". It never failed. We'd be alone at her place. We'd be getting to something "good", and the phone would ring. It was Scott. And he'd always ask, "Are you in the middle of anything?" And the answer would always be "Yes." Uncanny ability he had.
There where Navy Balls every year in April. The guys would get in our choker white uniforms and the ladies would get a really nice dress. We'd have a formal dinner and then dancing.
She always looked hot. She went to a community college for two years then transferred to the 4 year school I attended junior year. It was nice then. We'd have lunch together when our schedules coincided. Our good friend P also transferred in so occasionally it would be a threesome (for lunch that is, you sick little puppies).
It was during this time that it really struck me. Up until about the end of freshman year of college, we were a couple, and I loved her, but the eye still wandered. I might look at another woman and wonder whether she'd make a good girlfriend or something. By sometime sophmore year, I stopped being interested in other women. I'd still find them attractive and enjoy thier company or looking at them, but I wasn't interested in them in any other way. Basically meaning I had no desire whatsoever to have sex with them. That was HUGE for me. I realized that I truly LOVED Miss E and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. It's a feeling that I've never lost in all the years since. Some people say that you meet someone and you just KNOW they're the ONE. Well, it took me a few years, but it struck me. I've got this sense in me that tells me in my gut through the entire fiber of my being that something is RIGHT. When we were picking a pre-school program for Grasshopper to deal with his autism, I just KNEW that the school we sent him to was where he needed to go. And it was. Same thing here.
So, it's 1986. June 2 was a momentous day for us (at least, I'd like to think so). I'm working full time in the summer and one quarter during the school year as part of the co-op program that goes with my major. Meaning, I've got cash for a ring. Miss E know's I'm going to get her a ring at some point. We've even been shopping. I've been directed to buy her a marquis cut or don't even bother. When I suggested a pear shape as an alternative, I get "what part of marquis or else don't you get?" So what do I do? I find a really nice pear shaped diamond that I can afford. Nice quality. I put a down payment on it. I tell my mom I picked out a ring. I tell her it's a pear. She says, "Didn't she say she wanted a marquis?" So she makes me go back with her to look at the ring. Then she smacks me upside the head and makes me switch it for a marquis cut instead.
I've got the ring now, but I need a plan to give it to her. So I recall the story my theology teacher from high school, Stormin' Norman, related. He had been in a similar situation. He put together an elaborate plan tied to a family picnic to give her the ring. The concept was good: use an occasion where she would never expect to get a ring. His execution was poor, but that's another story. My plan: I call Miss E and say, "what do you say we go out for New Year's Eve this year?" I ask her in July. She says, "Sure, I guess." Plan now in action! In the fall, I made reservations for New Years Eve and a swanky resteraunt in town. One evening, well before that night, I even spill the beans to her with her parents there. I say to her in that voice that says "I'm messing with you": "Guess what I got you!" "Whaaaaat?" she replies. "I got you a half carat marquis diamond ring!" "Sure you did," she replies and goes upstairs to get ready. When she's out of earshot, I tell her parents, "Actually, I did! I'm giving it to her New Year's Eve."
So everyone knew about it except for her! New Year's Eve comes along, and we go out and have a nice dinner. I've got the ring in my pocked wrapped in Donald Duck Christmas wrapping paper. Since her birthday is January 9, after dinner I pull it out and tell her I have an late Christmas/early birthday present for her. She opens the wrapper and stares at the box. She cracks the box open and starts to cry. That's when I officially propose to her. Many tears and hugs ensued. The waitress was quite attentive as she realized what was going on and asked to see the rock. After dinner, we went to see her parents at a friend's house and the first words out of her mother's mouth when we came in were "Let me see the ring!" The Fiance couldn't beleive I'd managed to tell everyone and keep her in the dark for nearly 6 months. You may cheer now. I rule. I know.
So this was New Year's Eve 1986. We weren't graduating from college until 1989, so we had some time to plan the wedding. I will end this chapter of the story here and pick it in the next installment, covering from the ring to the wedding, and all the insanity the three weeks surrounding it was.
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