Just Rambling

I’ve had a weird kind of day. There’s a bunch of things going through my head so bear with me if it’s a little stream of consciousness typing. I’m going to type like I normally talk, which is starting to say something in the middle of a thought so no one knows what the hell I’m talking about but me. Anyway, I started off thinking about whether I should post more intimate stories, meaning stuff that only my wife knows about. It’s probably some interesting reading for those that don’t know me, but since I know for a fact that some people that do know me are lurking out there, I’m not sure I want them to know some of that stuff. Too personal, and once some of these images get in your head, they won’t come out. It would feel good to vent some feelings and just let it all fly, but I know that by doing so I could potentially hurt the feelings of those close to me, so I probably shouldn’t. Anyway, it’s kind of like trying to find a direction in your writing. Am I really just rambling and musing, or am I really try to say something? Why did I start this blog anyway? I think it was just to put my thoughts out there in the ether and see what happens. Now, however, I actually have an audience of sorts, and have joined a community of bloggers. Now it’s kind of like calling your friends to catch up. Writing this blog has become something different from when I started.

So on the drive home, I’m trying to think about what I could post. I thought I would talk about how lately, I’ve been feeling rather contented with life in general. I’m busy as hell, I have the normal frustrations and challenges of anyone with a wife and kids, but in general, I don’t feel like life sucks. Then I got home. My wife was upset since she was going out to a work meeting/dinner thing and had gotten dirt on the pants she wanted to wear. Suddenly I’m getting frustrated with the kids and yelling and being miserable. Then my younger boy used the toilet all by himself without prompting, only the 2nd time he’s done so. Mind you he’s 6 and has PDD-NOS (basically autism). Any anger I had at him melted away with pride for his accomplishment (and relief that maybe now we’ve turned the corner on this. Which I now probably jinxed.) Anyway, so then things are good for a while, then my mom comes over (right at bed time) so now when she leaves I’m yelling at the kids again because they don’t want to go to bed. Real yo-yo kind of day.

However, now that the boys are in bed and I can calm down again, the feeling of contentment is back. I’ve got the lovely wife nearby (wearing a short little skirt that makes her look SOOO fine!), the boys are tucked in, and I’m ready to face tomorrow.

So where was I going with all this? I don’t know really. Maybe I just like the sound of my voice, or the look of my words on the page. I’m going to relax now. Don’t want the woman to think I’m ignoring her.


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