Microsoft Time

Have you ever noticed when you're installing an application on a Windows PC, the installation reaches a point where it says there's a few seconds left (perhaps 5 sec) but it takes more like 5 minutes for the installation to finish? I've dubbed this Microsoft Time. It a type of distortion to the space time continuum where what is perceived by the application seems to be seconds, but in the "real" world is much longer. Sort of like what is supposed to happen when you approach the speed of light.

Why do I mention this? Well, we have a frontloading washer and matching dryer. If you put clothes in the dryer (though the washing machine does this too), it will tell you it's going to take, say, 1 hour to dry your clothes. So we keep an eye on it, and it reaches a point where the number on the display is 2, presumably minutes. However, the dryer (or washer for that matter) doesn't actually stop until something like 15 or 20 minutes later. So we've concluded the washer and dryer are also on Microsoft Time.

Last night, Ellen put some clothes in the dryer a little after 9 pm and the timer indicated they'd be dry and ready to fold at about 10:15 pm. Not too bad. However, they were ACTUALLY ready to fold at 10:45 pm. Ellen likes to nap in her chair prior to going to bed. She was already nice and comfy and had to get up during her "nap" time to fold laundry. Which she didn't want to do. Which made her a little unhappy. Which was obvious when I came up to bed and she was running around like a crazy lady to get in bed quick with that "don't fuck with me" look.

So I did the smart thing and kissed her on the head goodnight and rolled over to go to sleep. I'm happy to report she's in much better humour today. And I got a nice little bonus of seeing my very sexy lady half nekkid last night. Not that I said anything about it at the time. It was obviously sleeping time.

I wonder if I complain to Bill Gates if he'd write a patch for his software to fix the space time continuum?


Jude said…
Oh man this one cracked me up! I thought my washer was the ONLY one on the planet that was on Microsoft Time, it drives me bananas!

And why on earth would you want to complain to Mr. Gates if his "MS Time" lets you see your lady nekkid?
sydwynd said…
Jude: Good to know it doesn't just affect us. While MS time might allow me to see the lady nekkid, the mood it produces is only conducive to looking. I'd prefer a more "interactive" approach with the half nekkid wife.

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