Letting it go

Yesterday the new service desk manager at our organziation was announced. This was the position I'd applied for and later withdrew my application. The person "groomed" for the position was given the job. I hold no bitterness towards this person. They're a good supervisor and I think they'll be very good at it. But it's been hard this week not to feel bitter about my organization.

There are times I feel left behind as a supervisor. Certainly in my direct department, that makes 2 people (one that used to work for me) that have advanced above me. The thing that sticks in my head was the phrase "groomed". I get the feeling sometimes that parts of my chain of command have written me off and stuck me in a corner out of the way. My boss certainly intimated my opportunities in my department may be limited and it's always wise to keep an eye on what's out there. Not to say anyone's pushing me out the door, but I think the expectation is that some people think I've advanced as much as I can, whether because they don't think there's a place for me or they think I'm not capable.

That last bit is what really burns me. Because I KNOW there are a couple of senior leaders that don't think I have what it takes to be successful at the next level. I'll be the first to admit I made some mistakes in the past and should have done better when I had the role. However, when the feedback you get from your director is that you're not doing a good job and "I don't know how to tell you to fix it", it makes it difficult to succeed. And when that same director asks you boss why he's telling them all the time about your successes, that sends a loud signal.

However, I try not to let it get me down. I really like what I do. I'm knowledgable, respected by the people I want to be respected by, and I think my staff believes I'm a good leader. At least one of them has thanked me for mentoring them. So I'll keep on going. But I'm convinced in order to move up in my organization I'm going to need to make a sideways move into a different group. Or, for all I know, things will get shaken up in my group. We have an opening for a supervisor and bringing in new blood is always a good time to shake things up. Who knows.

All I can do is keep getting better at what I do. And that I do very well.


Jude said…
I think you're on the money when you talk about the fact that some changes may come at some point, and staying right where you are doing a great job is most likely just what you are supposed to be doing.

You know that saying about when God closes one door he opens another? It feels to me like you are waiting in that space between the doors, and you will know when He opens the next one. :-)
sydwynd said…
Jude: That's definately how it feels. The right opportunity will present itself when the Lord is ready. In the mean time, He's keeping me busy enough.

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