Same Old Song and Dance

I managed to watch the entire State of the Union speech tonight. It was actually kind of sad. I was expecting plenty of material to get all hopping mad about and rant. Instead, all I heard was blah, blah, blah, clap, clap, blah, blah, blah, clap, clap (while standing). Really, it was downright dull. A couple of things did sort of jump out at me. First, after 6 years, you'd think Bush would learn how to say insurance (emphasis is on the SECOND syllable, not the first), vehicle (the H is silent, dude!), and nuclear (that's pronounced NOO-CLEE-AR). Sigh. I would hope the man leading the country speaks better English than I, but alas, it is not to be.

A couple of his points made me shake my head. I even took notes to make sure I'd remember. For example, he proposed to eliminate the deficit in 5 years. You know, the one he created. After all, the budget was balanced when he took office. He mentioned a reserve civilian corps to help out the military reserves. So why exactly do we need that? Oh, again, cause he fucked up in Iraq. He mentioned "intense diplomatic negotiations" in Asia to deal with North Korea. I'm not sure exactly what he meant but it sounded like a lot of talk and no action going on. My favorite however was how he mentioned we were shining light to the rest of the world on what's going on in Darfur. I believe that's the first time I ever heard him mention that country. And I don't know exactly what he's been doing. Oh, wait, now I remember...NOTHING!

The total high point of the entire speech however, wasn't Bush at all. It was Chaney. The Wife noticed it and so I paid close attention. She was right! Chaney never blinked! I swear in the hour the president was talking, he blinked like 12 times! He almost blinked a few times, but the eyelids never fully closed. I believe this is the most convincing evidence yet that Chaney really is a robot. And he never smiled! I take that back. He smiled once. As a matter of fact, it looked like he was trying not to burst out laughing. It was right after Bush announced his plan to reduce dependence on oil/gasoline by 20%. I'm pretty sure Chaney knew his oil company buddies would never allow it. He probably thought it was funny to let Bush leave it in the speech. The other great moment came when both Bush and Chaney reached for and drank out of their water glasses AT THE SAME TIME. I'm not sure which was the puppet and which the master, but considering that Chaney's a robot, I'm pretty sure the puppet was the one with the mouth moving.


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