Week of September 4

This week I'm trying something new based on a recommendation from Father Paul.  He called it the TNE approach to spirituality.  You thank Jesus for your blessings that day, tell Jesus what you need, and then state where you experienced Jesus today (TNE = Thanks, Need, Experience).  I've been trying to do that as part of my evening prayers.  I think it's pretty easy to think about what I'm thankful for and what I need, but where I experience Jesus is a little more difficult.  Some days it was pretty easy, such as after Tony's funeral.  But other days, like today, it's much harder.  Today was just an ordinary day.  Mass in the morning, a few things around the house, a block party, visiting with my mom.  I think I need to look more closely on where and how I can see Jesus in these every day interactions.

I'm feeling that I need to work more on the spirituality of the every day.  Things like looking for opportunities to see Jesus in others.  Offering daily tasks and situations to the Lord.  Taking more purposeful time pray, reflect, and try to be in God's presence.  I wonder sometimes if I'm going through the motions.  For example, I read the daily Scripture readings each morning.  But am I just reading them or am I letting it sink in?  I certainly don't take dedicated time to reflect on them.  Perhaps I'm letting myself be too busy to make the time.

Julie hit on something with a Facebook post this week.  She mentioned having anxiety about binge watching shows due to the time it takes to truly focus on what you're watching.  It made me wonder if I'm trying to fill my spare time with "things" so I don't make the time to quiet myself and actually listen to God.  Am I being anxious about going deeper into my faith?  I keep saying its important.  Or am I just feeling that I'm not being Christian enough?  Like I don't measure up to the spiritual awareness of others in my diaconate class?  I don't know.  But that probably needs further reflection.