Thursday, October 20, 2011

Time may change me but I can't change time

So many things have been going on lately, some positive, some less so.  I'm pretty excited that I've entered Queen Extravaganza.  While I don't think there's any way I can win the contest (or even be able to tour if I did) there's a slim chance I could make the round of 10.  I say slim because there's some good musicians entereing.  However, rehearsing for my audition made me realize what I thought were my limits as a guitarist really aren't.  I was able to push myself to play things I didn't think I could.  Which by itself is inspiring and worth the effort.

I've been on an emotional roller coaster with the older kid.  He's still struggling with school and organization.  He's doing better than last year but not where he needs to be.  However, his teachers this year are great and very supportive.  And (most days) he's open to being helped.  I've managed to have a few actual, honest to goodness, dad to kid discussions with him that involved communication and not yelling.  Other times however....  Ellen has to smack me now and then but I remind her I'm trying and ain't perfect either.

But the event that really made my heart heavy was news I'd received over the weekend.  One of the members of my band had been distant lately and I was wondering what was up.  So I bumped into our singer at church on Sunday and asked about rehearsal on Monday (our usual night).  I also asked if there was something up with one of other band members.  Her response was "you need to call him because you shouldn't hear it from me."  Wow!  Talk about ominous.  And as I was walking out of church I saw his family together (wife, daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter) but not him.  Now I'm really wondering what's up.  Though a nagging suspision is in the back of my mind.

We normally rehearse at his house so I texted him and asked if we were rehearsing at his place the next day.  I got a reply that we should make other arrangements and he'd email me later.  So the email came about 11 pm.  He and his wife separated two weeks prior.  He and his wife of over 30 years.  I was so dissappointed but the nagging feeling I was getting was that's what was going on.  I got to talk to him the next night and the story was just heartbreaking.  Everyone in the family is devastated.  And it wasn't anything specific like another person came between them.  The just couldn't live with each other any longer.

Stuff like that makes you question your own relationship, or at least how your spouse feels about the relationship.  I know for myself there is no question of ever leaving my wife.  The reasons are endless but it boils down to there's no one else I want to be with.  We talked about it and she feels the same way.  Or at least that we're at a stage in our relationship that we're very comfortable with each other and know we can work out any issues we have.  Not that I ever really worried about our relationship but it's not something we always talk about.

So we've been doing the only thing we can and praying for our friends.  It's a tough situation for them all around so hopefully it will work out for them.