Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Fear is the Mind Killer, Fear is the Little Death

I attended a seminar just around the time I was laid off last year that said fear is of Satan.  Meaning, Satan uses fear to paralyze us and lead us into sin.  Fear keeps us from trusting in God.  After all, if we truly believe that God will take care of us, what is there to fear?  In one of my favorite passages from the Bible, Jesus reminds us not to worry.  If God takes care of the birds and animals, how will He not care for us if we mean so much more to Him than they?

However, sometimes it's difficult to trust and not to fear.  For example, even though I landed very quickly in an amazing position after being laid off (thanks be to God!), the position isn't at the same salary as my old one.  While the work and being happy doing it is far more important than salary, it does mean my financial situation is different than last year.  And this is a big year for us.  One kid in college and another starting in the fall.  The youngest will be driving soon and we need to get him a car (he'll be commuting in the fall).  Additional insurance to go with that.  Top that off with some repairs (car and home) that need to be made and I'm feeling the strain.

Overall, I know we're good.  But back when the kids were small, we weren't in such a good position.  With 2 young children and day care expenses, we had 2 options: we both work and go slowly into debt or Ellen stays home with the kids and we go quickly into debt.  Guess which we chose?  We hoped that by the time the kids got older, we could pay off the debt.  It actually took Ellen's parents passing away to do it.  Since then, I've been kind of paranoid about not getting into that situation again.

Hence, the fear of not being able to keep up.  Therefore the need to relax and trust in God.  I know we're making smart decisions.  But fear can make you question what you're doing.  Which is why prayer is so important.  Giving the fear over to God to worry about for you is very freeing.  That's not to say you make poor decisions.  But giving your problems to God not only frees you, but it results in new blessings.  The story of the multiplications of the loaves and fishes is still relevant today.  We take what we have.  We give thanks to God for giving us what we have and offer it for others.  God then multiplies what little we have and does more with it than we could have imagined.  So that's what I try to do.  Give what I have to God and trust He'll figure out how to make it enough for me.