For Those Who Wait

I posted a while back about my struggles as a musician, both as a hobby and as a music minister.  Since then, I’ve continued try and figure out just what it is I’m being called to do with music.  Basically trying to discern where the Lord is leading me.  I’m still not 100% sure (are we ever sure of God’s call?) but recent reflection has gotten me closer.  Since I now have a longer drive to and from work, I’ve gotten in the habit of listening to Catholic podcasts on my way home. 

One of the things they’ve reminded me is that God doesn’t always call us to do things that are easy.  Or things that we necessarily want to do.  Sometimes God is like a parent reminding us that we need to do certain things because they’re good for us.  We might not feel like brushing our teeth but cavities are way worse, right?  That’s kind of where I am with music.  There’s the good part (playing) and the hard part (planning, rehearsals, etc).  However, God doesn’t make us do hard things just to be tough on us or to “build character”.  God makes us stretch out of our comfort zones to prepare us to do something bigger.  He helps us learn and develop skills we’ll need for the things He needs us to do down the road.

So I’ve come to the realization, at least as it relates to music ministry, that I need to keep things going.  In fact, I probably need to step up my game a little.  I’ll be honest, I’ve been kind of like a kid doing everything possible to avoid doing something they don’t want to.  You know, like when you put off an assignment until the very moment because you really don’t want to do it?  That’s kind of been it.  I’ve been trying to find reasons to justify why I don’t want to do all the unpleasant parts of music ministry so I can just enjoy the part I like – playing.

But I’ve also realized that I can’t walk away from this ministry.  The last couple of Masses I’ve played, the genuine gratitude people have expressed to me and the group has reminded me why I do it and what the point of ministry is.  And if that means I need to put a little more in to it, then that’s what I need to do.  I need to remember that music ministry is not my work, but God’s work.  It’s not for me to worry about where it goes, who is part of the group, who can commit or not commit.  It’s my job to help put together the best musical product I can to enhance the worship of the people at Mass each time we play.  God can take care of the rest of it.