Anger sucks

I wrote a completely different posts but then there was an error posting it so it got wiped. So I decided to write this instead. My wife sent me a link to a site that says writing a journal reduces stress. That's one reason I started this blog though I also just needed something to do during lunch and this seemed like a good idea.

Anyway, on with the subject. I never seemed to have "anger issues" until I had kids. Many of you with children can probably relate. However, my boys have ideosynchracies that can get downright annoying. My older son has a tendancy to make noises first thing in the morning (banging on things and making annoying sounds) and my younger son has "potty issues". Now, granted, the older one has ADHD and my younger son is diagnosed with PDD (autism disorder) so a lot if it is due to that, but it doesn't make it any easier. I'm the kind of guy that likes to be left alone in the morning. I prefer to get up, have breakfast, get ready for work, etc in some peace and quiet. Even though I appear to be functioning, I'm not really awake and ready to deal with people until about 8 am. Since I get the boys ready for day care in the morning, that's shot. I don't really have the patience to deal with all this stuff first thing in the morning and sometimes it shows.

Also, by the time it gets near bedtime, I've about had my fill and patience is again wearing thin. I try to keep the kids focused on the bedtime routine but of course they want to do anything but get ready for bed. It doesn't help that the wife then gets annoyed and I have to deal with her too. I love her to death but she can get on my nerves sometimes. For example, last night I started preparing lunches for today for everyone. Since it was time to get ready for the boys to go to bed, I didn't finish cleaning up. I figured I'd get the boys ready for bed, and once they were both settled in, I could finish up. However, my wife makes a smart ass comment to me instead before I have a chance to do anything. Mind you, she's the one that complains to me that I don't focus enough on the boys. In other words, I can't win. If the lady would be patient a little, everything would get done. Her approach is to run around the house like a crazy woman trying to get everything done. I try to pace myself a little more and don't stress out about little things. She also has a habit of not telling me if she needs anything done. I get the "you should know what needs to be done" line. As if I can read her mind. In her defense, she's gotten better about this. However, I'm willing to do whatever she needs as long as she tells me what it is.

Anyway, I'm trying to work on this anger thing but some days are tough. Unlike my wife, I can't turn it on and then turn it off quick. Once I get really pissed, it takes quite a while to calm down again, sometimes into the next day. My wife can be angry about something and then be all normal again 20 minutes later. Not me. So, I've been trying to work on not yelling or being an asshole or anything and I think I've gotten better. Now I need to work on my "tone". I'm not sure what that means. I've been told that I need to rephrase the way I say things. I'm not sure what's wrong with the way I talk to the kids except that it's a different style from my wife's. Oh well. I guess I'm just a guy and can't do anything right.


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