Should I feel guilty?
I think I may have offended someone via Facebook. I'm not a HUGE fan of Facebook because much of what's out there is drivel. I use it mostly to keep up with family and friends I care about. Like most, when I first got my Facebook account I was accepting friend requests from pretty much anybody I knew. However, some of my Facebook friends were either posting things that only made sense to them or stuff I couldn't care less about.
Enter an old neighbor of mine. We grew up from each other a few doors down. She was 2 years older than I so we hung around a little when we were younger but basically after I graduated from high school (MANY years ago now) I don't think I ever spoke to her or saw her face to face once. She was one of those people posting all kinds of stuff on Facebook that just took up space to me so as part of a "housecleaning" I de-friended her (along with a bunch of other people). A few months later she must have realized I wasn't on her friend list and sent another friend request, which I ignored.
So yesterday she sends me a message wondering why I de-friended her. I didn't want to be rude and tell her the truth, which is I really don't KNOW her any more. We were merely neighbors from over 20 years ago and have not had an actual conversation (even on Facebook) in all that time. But I was polite and said it was nothing personal and that I was making my Facebook friend list smaller.
The response I got? "Whatever!". She "respects" my decision but thinks it's great remembering old friends. I didn't respond to that but truthfully, I don't have time for the friends I have now that I really want to spend time with. People I actually talk to on a regular basis. As for the "old" times, there really weren't that many to look so fondly back on. Get togethers with friends on New Year's Eve, perhaps. But I have much fonder memories of the people in my life now. So I think this person was offended that I didn't value those memories as much as she. I mean, we just weren't that close.
Was I a bad guy for not wanting to be someone's Facebook friend? Perhaps I should quote Audry Hepburn's character in Charade when Cary Grant is trying to befriend her. "I'm afraid I already know a great many people. Until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else."
Enter an old neighbor of mine. We grew up from each other a few doors down. She was 2 years older than I so we hung around a little when we were younger but basically after I graduated from high school (MANY years ago now) I don't think I ever spoke to her or saw her face to face once. She was one of those people posting all kinds of stuff on Facebook that just took up space to me so as part of a "housecleaning" I de-friended her (along with a bunch of other people). A few months later she must have realized I wasn't on her friend list and sent another friend request, which I ignored.
So yesterday she sends me a message wondering why I de-friended her. I didn't want to be rude and tell her the truth, which is I really don't KNOW her any more. We were merely neighbors from over 20 years ago and have not had an actual conversation (even on Facebook) in all that time. But I was polite and said it was nothing personal and that I was making my Facebook friend list smaller.
The response I got? "Whatever!". She "respects" my decision but thinks it's great remembering old friends. I didn't respond to that but truthfully, I don't have time for the friends I have now that I really want to spend time with. People I actually talk to on a regular basis. As for the "old" times, there really weren't that many to look so fondly back on. Get togethers with friends on New Year's Eve, perhaps. But I have much fonder memories of the people in my life now. So I think this person was offended that I didn't value those memories as much as she. I mean, we just weren't that close.
Was I a bad guy for not wanting to be someone's Facebook friend? Perhaps I should quote Audry Hepburn's character in Charade when Cary Grant is trying to befriend her. "I'm afraid I already know a great many people. Until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else."
Comments
Sometimes the chatty ones get on my nerves, so I just "hide" their updates so they don't clutter up my wall from the updates I really *do* care about. The other part for me is, I'm nosy, so sometimes I actually do want to see what they're up to, so by hiding their updates that gives me the option to still go to their wall when I want and check in on them. Plus, you know, avoiding the drama of "unfriending" someone.
Truth be told, I'm not sure I'd ever notice if someone DID unfriend me. (The exception being you, of course I would notice that. ha.) Does that make ME a bad Facebook friend?
Like MySpace, a lot of people on Facebook enjoy having a large number of "friends", not being choosey who they are but how many there are. Obviously like a lot of us, you aren't one of those.
She'll get over it. Carry on. :-)
I would notice if you weren't on my friend list any more either. You're a keeper.
Jude: Thanks. Perhaps some people need the drama. Also, this person is still single. So perhaps hanging on to people is important. It's very different when you have a family of your own to worry about. Either way I don't think I'll lose too much sleep over it.