What a day
Today's been a long day so far. And it didn't start out so good. This weekend has been the Hot Dog Cup tournament, a soccer tournament the boys are involved. There were 4 games yesterday (two each). Today there was originally scheduled 3 games. The first was at 8 am. Requiring me to get up a 6:30 am. On a Sunday. Which I hate.
If you ask my family what I'm like at that time of the morning, the would be very kind in saying I'm antisocial. Truthfully I'm a mean son of a bitch that wants to be left the fuck alone. If I need to get up early (like for work) I just want to get my stuff done and get to where I need to go. I don't really want to talk to anyone. I don't want any craziness, I don't want the kids arguing or complaining or giving me a hard time. Nicholas, especially, is at full speed when he gets up in the morning. He's full of energy and talkative and so on. I had to spell it out for him this morning that when I get up that early, I just don't want to talk to anyone. Surprisingly, he understood and complied and didn't talk to me until I left.
So, after getting my butt up early and getting a kid ready for soccer, we get to the game. All I wanted to do today was get through these 3 soccer games and go riding with Ellen (and maybe Nicholas) on a new bike trail by the lake. Christopher, besides having 2 games, is off the a 5 day wrestling camp today where he'll be staying on the college campus where the camp is. So my plan was 3 soccer games, lunch, drop the kid off at wrestling camp with the bikes on the back of the car, go riding, then spend the rest of the day working on school assignments. Weather forecast was for no rain after raining a lot yesterday. I'm golden, right?
So during the first game, it starts to rain. And not gently. And I'm already not in a good mood and this isn't improving it at all. All I'm thinking at that point is that if I don't get my ride in, I'm going to be really pissed. As if I wasn't already. Are you starting to see a pattern here? Can you see the common thread? I'll get back to it in a sec.
Just to fill you in on the rest of the day, Christopher (who had the early game) lost his first game. We came home and all went to the next two games as they were one after the other. Nicholas had the next one and his team won! Christopher's team then played and they lost again. As it turns out, Nicholas' team qualified for the tournament final, so we suddenly had another game for the day! I was still hoping to get a ride in. But I'm coming to that.
So we had lunch there at the field, then ran home. Ellen got Christopher ready to go to camp and I took Nicholas to the finals. Which the lost. However, while I was at the game, something dawned on me. Last year, when watching Nicholas play, I would prowl the sideline "coaching" him while he was playing. That's a polite way of saying "yelling at him to do this or that". This year, he's playing much better. And for the entire tournament, I sat and watched him play. When he came to the sideline, I gave him some pointers and let him run off again. While his team was getting murdered in the final (the lost 8-2), all the other parents and the coach were yelling this and that to get the boys in the game. Nicholas was doing what he was supposed to and playing his best, so I sat back and just watched the game. And gave him pointers when he came to the sideline. And congratulated him on playing well.
After the game, I asked Ellen if she wanted to go for a ride. I've been trying to revive the Sunday ride with family. But instead of going in a car, our Sunday ride is on the bikes! It was humid today, so she begged off and I knew Nicholas was too tired so I went for a ride on my own on my new road bike. Got about 12.75 miles in. I love the solitude of riding as I can just focus on the road and the ride. Anything else going on is purged from my brain as I concentrate on just pedaling. I got the school work complete that I wanted to get done and will have time tonight to do some reading. Not a bad end to the day.
So did you figure out my problem earlier? I was reading a friend's blog who posted a sermon he gave and it reminded me what my problem was this morning (and continues to be). Did you see how many times I used the phrase "I ...". I just went and counted. Ten times. Awfully damn selfish of me, isn't it? Which is probably one of my biggest problems. Though I'm sure Ellen will pick out a few more if you ask her. I'm not sure when in the day I finally let go of that selfishness, but luckily I did. It may have been at the second game of the day when Ellen was there. She does have a pretty good habit of smacking me on the head when I need it. Or just being a calming influence whether I know it or not. Certainly interacting with her makes me a better person. The other day I was being a bastard and she came up to me and quietly but firmly put me in my place and that did the trick. Good thing God gave her to me.
So despite all my crankiness and selfishness, we got everything done today that needs doing. And maybe I learned something too. I always say I need to let go of things and give them to the Lord. I just have to remind myself to do so often.