Changing Priorities

It's been an interesting couple of weeks. Actually, probably couple of months. I was riding with Ellen today (I'm really enjoy taking a Sunday bike ride, just the two of us!) and you get a little time to reflect. There's been a lot of change for me recently, especially when it comes to work. While I'm enjoying my job again, there's the stress of not screwing things up. That stress came back Friday evening with an email from my boss basically saying "Did you know about the web upgrade this weekend and why didn't you tell the weekend support team's manager?"

Shit, a "here we go again" kind of moment. I sent a note to the boss and left him a VM on his cell, but I ddn't get anything back so I had to try not to worry about it all weekend. Yeah right.

But that's just the backdrop. As I said, as I was riding today, I realized again that there's been a shift in me. I think it started when I went to summer camp with the boys, or perhaps the with the Scout bike-hike in early summer. That got me into biking. Going to scout camp got me into doing more outdoorsy kinds of things. That got me into biking with the family. That made me realize that for all I thought I was an ambitious career minded person, I'm not sure I am any longer. I've never been the "live to work" type, but lately, I've been living to do things at home. In just a few short months, my perspective has really changed. And I didn't know how much the job thing was bugging me until it all changed.

I'm still trying to find the right balance at work and figure out how to be successful in this organization in which I work. However, I do now realize that I was trying too hard to get promoted just to look good and make more money. Basically all the wrong reasons. I'm still trying to figure out how long I'm going to be working for my organization. Call it history, call it whatever, but right now my focus is just trying to do a good job and build my team. From there, I have no ambitions at work. I'm still having fun doing what I'm doing, but having HQ in another city is still tough for me. I'll keep on keeping on there.

Most importantly, I'm finding that spending time with Ellen (and of course the boys, when they're not making me crazy) is so much more rewarding right now. They and my faith are what's sustaining me right now. But that's really all I need.


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