I Wanna Rock

So this may be a surprising admission.  I will begin by saying that I've been doing music ministry for quite some time and have been playing an instrument since the 4th grade.  That means I've been playing music for about 41 years now.  I've played in rock bands, folk groups, contemporary christian groups, and wrote and recorded music.  Music and playing guitar are part of who I am.  I believe it is a gift from God and it is my responsibility to give it back in whatever way I can.

And I may be getting tired of it.  Mind you, I'm not tired of playing the guitar.  I still love doing so.  I'm getting tired of all of the other stuff that goes with it, especially trying to run a group.  Of the three groups I work with right now, I'm de-facto in charge of two of them.  I play with the choir at our church.  That's an ideal situation since I show up on Sunday morning, warm up with the group for 45 minutes, play Mass, and go home.  No fuss, no muss.  Music is always easy and usually something I already know.

The other two groups are my christian band that plays Mass once a month and my cover band.  Getting everyone together to rehearse, coming up with set lists, dealing with even the little bit of drama that comes up is tiring.  And with my beginning deaconate formation, I'm not sure I want the hassle or have the time.  Short term, I'm sticking with everything.  Monthly masses with my Christian group ends in June.  I suspect I won't be doing it again in the fall.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do about the rock band.  However, I suspect I'm going to give that up by the end of the summer as well.

And, honestly, I'm not really broken up about that.  Being in a band can be a love/hate relationship for me.  On the one hand, it's fun and I get to play songs that I like.  On the other hand, I'm not really doing what I'd want as a musician.  Most of the music I really enjoy and listen to these days wouldn't work for a cover band.  And I definitely don't have the time for a band doing originals.  So I'm in this limbo as a musician.  It's a minor issue, to be sure, but we musician types are funny that way.  We like to be able to be creative as well as entertaining.

So what does the future hold?  No idea.  I still see music as one of my ministries.  I'm hoping I can somehow incorporate it into whatever my deaconate ministry will be.  But the ministry is not really mine, but God's.  I need to follow the path that He's set out for me.  And that may include what I would like to do, and it may not.  But I'm committed to doing the work God wants me to do.  So stay tuned.


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